Tom Grennan reveals struggles with crippling anxiety that left him ‘unable to leave the house’ and contemplating suicide after he was the victim of a random attack at the age of 17
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Tom Grennan has shared his struggles with crippling anxiety after being the victim of a random street attack when he was just 17.
The singer, 29, revealed that he became ‘too scared to leave the house’ after being attacked by three men, leaving him with a broken jaw.
Speaking to Pete Wicks on the first episode of his new Man Made podcast, Tom shared how he felt ‘demasculated’ by his horrific ordeal, and he even contemplated suicide while vowing to seek revenge on the men who attacked him.
Explaining that it was a ‘random attack,’ Tom said: ‘Got held by three guys, bear hugged, so I couldn’t move and just kept getting pounded in my face.
‘I was there, couldn’t move whilst taking the punches and I think that – well, 17, just turning 18 and that flipped life on its head, where it [demasculated] me, do you know what I mean? Whatever that word is.’
‘I was like, you’ve completely ripped out every little bit of confidence, every little bit of me, I wasn’t me anymore. From that little moment, completely has changed my whole life.
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Tom Grennan has shared his struggles with crippling anxiety after being the victim of a random street attack when he was just 17
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The singer revealed that he became ‘too scared to leave the house’ after being attacked by three men, leaving him with a broken jaw
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‘I had to rebuild everything and I think that’s obviously where my anxiety came from, the beginning of it.’
Tom went onto add: ‘Yeah, I think understanding of who I was, more than being a man. It was more just like, who am I? What have I got to do now to be better or just be me again?
As Pete noted it was ‘a f*****g scary place to be at 18,’ Tom added: ‘Mate, I couldn’t leave the house. The thoughts, man. I was like if I’m not me, then f*ck it.
Noting that he struggles with the mental scars of the attack, Tom said: ‘I’ve still got it, mate. […] If I was sticking it on the geezer or if I was annoying him or if I was being loud and if I was antagonizing him, I’d have had a better understanding of because I probably deserved it. […]
‘I thought oh my God everybody loves me, I’m good, life is sweet, and then that happened. Then I thought, my God, everybody hates me. I lost a year of being at home, I was just at home. I lost friends, I became angry.
‘Not understanding why these people have done this to me. I was so angry. I don’t know how deep I can go, if this could even be on the podcast, but I remember saying to my mum, I remember going, I’m going to kill myself.
‘She was like, what? I was like yeah, but I’m going to go kill them first. I remember trying to leave the house and I didn’t know where they were and my mum was so scared that I was going to go kill somebody and then kill me. That f*cked my mum up, it f*cked me up, man, it was deep.’
Tom went onto share how he’s sought help through therapy, saying: ‘I’ve done it previously and then I’ve dipped out and then I dip in and dip out, but right now I’m in because I think for me, having an understanding of where these feelings and why my mind goes to the places it goes to. A therapist can’t be like, this is why.
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Speaking to Pete Wicks on his new Man Made podcast , Tom said felt ‘demasculated’ by his horrific ordeal, and he even contemplated suicide
‘Exactly and to be fair, I was like that. I was like, can you please f*cking tell me? He’s like, mate, we can have a conversation and we can use tools, but really and truthfully, it’s a never-ending thing and I’m like, oh my God, this is going to be long.
‘I think having a space to be able to talk, this is like a therapy thing for me right now because having a place to talk openly and freely about anything is amazing.
‘I leave a room, I’m like, okay, now I feel a bit lighter now and I think that’s why I’m in it at the moment, because I’ve got a lot of pressure.
‘I’ve got a lot of big life events happening and it’s just being able to navigate [them] so I don’t then start fires in my head and in reality, I can easily fall off a cliff and start creating fires.’
In his new podcast, Pete speaks to a range of stars who, whether they like it or not, are modern male role models and he asks them if they are worthy of their status.
The show asks stars which traits they are proud of, men who inspired them when growing up versus the men inspiring them now, when have they got ‘being a man’ all wrong and what rules, advice or motivation do they have for other men.
Some of Pete’s female friends will also be invited in for a chat to find out what they consider the most important traits in a man, what are the biggest red flags and what do men just need to realise.
Meanwhile, Tom also recently opened up about his ADHD diagnosis.
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is a behavioural condition defined by inattentiveness, hyperactivity and impulsiveness.
Speaking on Russell Howard’s Wonderbox podcast, which was released on Wednesday, Tom said he has been working with famed producer Justin Tranter, known for collaborating with Ariana Grande and Justin Bieber.
Tom went onto share how he’s sought help through therapy, after ‘dipping in and out’ of it for many years
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About his new album, Tom shared: ‘I’ve been in the US writing my new album and it’s been amazing. We’ve gone deep.
‘It’s about my struggle with different aspects of my life, whether it’s alcohol or drugs. I’ve opened up about my life, from being a kid to now, family and relationships.’
In June, Tom admitted he found himself in a ‘sinking hole’ as he opened up about his mental health.
The hitmaker, who has always been candid about his struggles, told how he began to write music as a way of expressing his feelings.
Speaking to broadcaster Roman Kemp for mental health charity YoungMinds, Tom said: ‘Something dramatically happened to me where I just found myself in this sinking hole.
‘I couldn’t get out of bed, I thought the whole world was against me. I thought I wasn’t good enough, I never had been somebody who would talk about my feelings, especially to my friends and not to my parents, either.
‘So then I started to just write little notes in a notepad and then picked up a guitar.’
If you have been affected by this story, you can call the Samaritans on 116 123 or visit www.samaritans.org.
Pete Wicks: Man Made is available wherever you get your podcasts.
